Compliments in Ukrainian (and what to say on a date)

First, grammar: гарний or гарна?

In English, you look beautiful works for everyone. In Ukrainian, adjectives agree with the person they describe, so you need to know who you're complimenting — and when you talk about yourself, adjectives and past-tense verbs agree with you, the speaker. It sounds like a lot, but it comes down to two patterns:

• Describing them: Ти гарний (ty hárnyi) to a man, Ти гарна (ty hárna) to a woman — you're handsome / beautiful.
• Describing yourself: Я радий (ya rádyi) if you're a man, Я рада (ya ráda) if you're a woman — I'm glad. The same goes for Я вражений / вражена (vrázhenyi / vrázhena) — I'm impressed — and past tense: я провів / провела (ya provív / provelá) — I spent.

The second choice is ти or ви. Use ти with a partner, a date, friends and people your age who've switched to it. Use ви with your partner's parents, colleagues you don't know well and anyone older. A compliment with the wrong pronoun isn't a disaster, but a compliment with the right one sounds twice as sincere.

Compliments in Ukrainian by situation

On looks

Ukrainians notice when someone has made an effort, and saying so is welcome. Keep it about the person's style, smile or eyes rather than their body, and you can't go wrong.

• Ти сьогодні чудово виглядаєш! (ty sohódni chudóvo vyhliadáiesh) — You look wonderful today!
• Тобі дуже личить ця сукня. (tobí dúzhe lýchyt tsia súknia) — That dress really suits you. Swap in цей колір (tsei kólir, this colour) or ця зачіска (tsia záchiska, this hairstyle).
• У тебе гарна усмішка. (u tébe hárna úsmishka) — You have a lovely smile.
• Ти дуже гарна / гарний. (ty dúzhe hárna / hárnyi) — You're very beautiful / handsome.
• Ти вродлива. (ty vrodlýva) — You're beautiful. A little more poetic and admiring than гарна.

On personality

These are the compliments people remember, because they're about who someone is:

• З тобою так легко. (z tobóiu tak léhko) — It's so easy being with you. (Before к, the г in легко is pronounced [kh]: [LEKH-ko].)
• Ти дуже цікава людина. (ty dúzhe tsikáva liudýna) — You're a really interesting person.
• У тебе чудове почуття гумору. (u tébe chudóve pochuttiá húmoru) — You have a great sense of humour.
• Ти мене надихаєш. (ty mené nadykháiesh) — You inspire me.

On cooking

If someone has cooked for you, praise is not optional — and the best compliment of all is asking for more.

• Дуже смачно! (dúzhe smáchno) — It's delicious!
• У вас золоті руки. (u vas zolotí rúky) — You have golden hands. Said about anyone who's good with their hands — cooks, bakers, people who can fix things.
• Можна ще? (mózhna shche) — May I have some more?
• Поділіться рецептом? (podilítsia retséptom) — Would you share the recipe?

On style

• У тебе чудовий смак. (u tébe chudóvyi smak) — You have great taste.
• Класна куртка! (klásna kúrtka) — Cool jacket! Casual — for friends, not your boss.

At work

• Ви чудово впоралися. (vy chudóvo vpóralysia) — You did a great job.
• Молодець! (molodéts) — Well done! It stays the same for men and women.
• Я вражений / вражена. (ya vrázhenyi / vrázhena) — I'm impressed.

How Ukrainians receive compliments

Don't be surprised if your lovely compliment is waved away. Many Ukrainians — especially of the older generation — answer praise with a modest Та ну, що ти! (ta nu, shcho ty — oh, come on!) or explain that the dish is nothing special. It's modesty, not rejection. Repeat the compliment once, warmly, and let it go.

When someone compliments you, the simplest, most graceful answers are:

• Дякую, мені дуже приємно! (diákuiu, mení dúzhe pryiémno) — Thank you, that's really nice to hear!
• Дякую, ти теж! (diákuiu, ty tezh) — Thank you, so do you! (or you too)
• Ой, дякую! (oi, diákuiu) — Oh, thank you! With a smile, that's enough.

Ukrainian phrases for a date

The Ukrainian word for a date is побачення (pobáchennia), from бачити, to see. Here's the whole evening, from the invitation to the message after.

Asking someone out

• Хочеш випити кави? (khóchesh výpyty kávy) — Would you like to grab a coffee? The easy, low-pressure first step.
• Що ти робиш у суботу ввечері? (shcho ty róbysh u subótu vvécheri) — What are you doing on Saturday evening?
• Ходімо в кіно? (khodímo v kinó) — Shall we go to the cinema?
• Можна запросити тебе на побачення? (mózhna zaprosýty tebé na pobáchennia) — Can I ask you out on a date?

On the date

• Я дуже радий / рада тебе бачити. (ya dúzhe rádyi / ráda tebé báchyty) — I'm really glad to see you.
• Розкажи про себе. (rozkazhý pro sébe) — Tell me about yourself.
• Що ти любиш робити у вільний час? (shcho ty liúbysh robýty u vílnyi chas) — What do you like doing in your free time?
• Мені з тобою дуже добре. (mení z tobóiu dúzhe dóbre) — I feel really good with you.

Saying goodnight

• Я чудово провів / провела час. (ya chudóvo provív / provelá chas) — I had a wonderful time. The verb matches your gender.
• Давай зустрінемося ще. (davái zustrínemosia shche) — Let's meet again.
• Напиши, як доїдеш додому. (napyshý, yak doídesh dodómu) — Text me when you get home.
• Добраніч! (dobránich) — Goodnight! And for a softer ending: Солодких снів! (solódkykh sniv) — Sweet dreams!

Sweet names for later

Once things get serious, Ukrainians have a lovely range of pet names. The most common are сонце (sóntse, sunshine), сонечко (sónechko, little sun), зайчику (záichyku, little bunny — the vocative of зайчик) and коханий / кохана (kokhányi / kokhána, my love).

Save Я тебе кохаю (ya tebé kokháiu) for when you mean it. Кохати is romantic love only, and it carries weight — more on that in Ukrainian words with no English equivalent.

Cheesy lines to avoid

Translated pickup lines are the fastest way to get a polite smile and nothing more. A few things that don't travel well:

• Word-for-word English lines. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becomes Ти що, з неба впала? — which Ukrainians have heard many times, usually as a joke.
• Over-the-top poetry on a first date. Твої очі як зорі (your eyes are like stars) is lovely in a song and a bit much over a first coffee.
• Comments on weight or body. Even when meant kindly, they make people uncomfortable. Stick to style, smile, eyes and personality.
• Кохаю too early. See above — it's a big word.

Say it with confidence

Compliments and date phrases are all about delivery — the right intonation, the right form for the right person. If you're learning Ukrainian for a partner or their family, that's something we work on in my Ukrainian lessons online. For quick reactions to the answers you get, see OMG in Ukrainian; and my free guide to the first 100 Ukrainian words is a good place to begin.